Saturday, April 17, 2010

Where, why, and why now?

I'm sorry.
For so many months, this blog was a way for me to express myself and to seek the support of others who really understood where I was at. But I was exposed, and I panicked. The day after we received our beta results, I had a very distant acquaintance contact me trying to gather information...and so I shut down. Nobody knew of our struggles, and most importantly nobody knew that we were barely pregnant. And after all we had gone through to have a baby, I wanted to have a special moment sharing this with my family and friends...and so, I stopped blogging.
Where we are at: Well, mid-October we had 2 beautiful blasts transferred, which resulted in a positive beta. A few short weeks after that we had our first ultrasound which showed 1 beautiful baby with a strong heartbeat. But we all know that isn't the end of the story. For so many women out there, a positive pregnancy test means the world to them...to me, it was life changing and also increased my anxiety ten fold. Now I actually had something tangible I could lose. Up to this point I had NEVER been pregnant...but now it was real. So I sat on pins and needles praying and praying every day that this little one would stick around and join our family. Our 11 week ultrasound once again showed a well developing little one, even a few days ahead of schedule! With our 12 week mark being exactly christmas day, we decided it was a perfect opportunity to share with our family. So we did. It was such a special moment...one I will never forget. And slowly I started the process of telling the rest of my family and friends.
I am happy to say that we are into our third trimester and have not had 1 scare - things are moving right on schedule. We have decided not to find out what we are having...we need 1 surprise! And we are praying our little one makes it's safe arrival in July.
I wanted to update this blog so that I could comment on blogs again. I haven't forgotten the support I received...and I also haven't forgotten to pray for all of those out there still waiting for their miracle. I know my story is far from over...it is just entering a chapter that I, at times, thought I would never get to.
Looking forward to reading how each of our stories are continuing to develop and change.


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