Saturday, April 17, 2010

Where, why, and why now?

I'm sorry.
For so many months, this blog was a way for me to express myself and to seek the support of others who really understood where I was at. But I was exposed, and I panicked. The day after we received our beta results, I had a very distant acquaintance contact me trying to gather information...and so I shut down. Nobody knew of our struggles, and most importantly nobody knew that we were barely pregnant. And after all we had gone through to have a baby, I wanted to have a special moment sharing this with my family and friends...and so, I stopped blogging.
Where we are at: Well, mid-October we had 2 beautiful blasts transferred, which resulted in a positive beta. A few short weeks after that we had our first ultrasound which showed 1 beautiful baby with a strong heartbeat. But we all know that isn't the end of the story. For so many women out there, a positive pregnancy test means the world to them...to me, it was life changing and also increased my anxiety ten fold. Now I actually had something tangible I could lose. Up to this point I had NEVER been pregnant...but now it was real. So I sat on pins and needles praying and praying every day that this little one would stick around and join our family. Our 11 week ultrasound once again showed a well developing little one, even a few days ahead of schedule! With our 12 week mark being exactly christmas day, we decided it was a perfect opportunity to share with our family. So we did. It was such a special moment...one I will never forget. And slowly I started the process of telling the rest of my family and friends.
I am happy to say that we are into our third trimester and have not had 1 scare - things are moving right on schedule. We have decided not to find out what we are having...we need 1 surprise! And we are praying our little one makes it's safe arrival in July.
I wanted to update this blog so that I could comment on blogs again. I haven't forgotten the support I received...and I also haven't forgotten to pray for all of those out there still waiting for their miracle. I know my story is far from over...it is just entering a chapter that I, at times, thought I would never get to.
Looking forward to reading how each of our stories are continuing to develop and change.

4 comments:

Triumph in Learning said...

I'm SO Happy You Posted!!! And with Wonderful News too:) Huge Congrats to you both!!!

I can understand panicking.. if some distant person I knew contacted me & started asking questions when they did.

I also wasn't relaxed after I got pregnant.. in fact I can't even remember excatly "HOW Many" Hpt's I took.. Even after my beta's.LOL I was scared of something going wrong, since I also had never been pregnant and what it took to finally get me that way. I haven't posted very much on my on blog compared to some others since becoming pregnant. But try to comment on others blogs when I can.

I'm just so overjoyed to hear from you!!! YAY!! WE both are having Summer babies:)

God is so Good!!!

Hugs,
Hannah

Brittney said...

Oh, it is SOO wonderful to hear from you!!! And I am thrilled for your incredible news! Yes, a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to you and your husband.

I also have been anxiety-ridden throughout the past eight months, and had a few scares during that time. But my incredible, wise sister kept telling me that against all odds this little one was a fighter - he was here - and to always keep that in my heart no matter what. This knowledge helped keep hope alive for me in tough times.

I wish you all the best through the rest of your pregnancy. Your precious little boy or girl is going to be very lucky to have you as a Mom:)

Brittney said...

Hi there again, I have an award for you on my blog:)

Beckie's Infertile said...

Hey! Found my way over here from Brittney's blog.

Congrats! That is super exciting for you guys!!!

Your blog title reminded me of:

While I'm Waiting by John Waller

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=while+i+am+waiting+john+waller&aq=0

Have a great weekend! Looking forward to reading more in your blog!


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